Beauty For Ashes: Transforming Trauma Into Healing for Others

“To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified” (Isaiah 61:3)

Every heart that has been broken and every soul that has been wounded knows pain. Pain knows no depth and has no respect of persons. For some of us, our deepest pain has been a soul wound…a deep, emotional scarring or trauma that deals a blow to our sense of self and well-being.

Soul wounds or moral injuries cut deep and can have significant emotional and psychological consequences. These wounds, often stemming from early childhood experiences or intimate partner relationships, can feel like walking a tiger, requiring significant effort, courage, and strength to regulate.

When our mind, body, and soul are filled with pain, God can seem far from us. The bible refers to this as “The weeping that endures for night.” If you’ve experienced a soul wound, if you’ve suffered at the hands of someone who was supposed to love and protect you, you’ve endured your share of weeping that endured for a night.

I remember as a little boy sitting quietly, eyes filled with tears, as I watched my mother cry out to God from deep soul wounds. Hers was a groan, a deep and painful groan that only she, I, and God ever heard. My mother was an abuse victim, and her soul, while battered and bruised, would find the strength and conviction to seek God’s face and intercede for both her and me. I felt those words, I felt every word. It was as if my mother was calling heaven down. It was as if she knew that He would come when she called Him. I never saw God, but I felt God when my mother would cry out. In Romans 8:26, “wordless groans” refers to the Holy Spirit’s intercession for believers, expressing a longing or yearning that is beyond human words.

If you’ve experienced relational trauma, if you’ve lived in a soul-crushing, emotionally brutalizing home as my mother and I did, if you have been reduced to ashes by an abuser’s relentless, fiery indifference, you know what it means to pray for beauty for your ashes. My mother trusted God; she believed with her whole heart that God would give her beauty for her ashes. Her weeping that endured for a night lasted nearly 18 years, and there wasn’t a day that passed that my mother and I knew what was going to happen next, what was going to cause an eruption, or if we would make it to the next day.

In the Bible, ashes were used as a sign of mourning, repentance, and even despair. People would sprinkle ashes on their heads or wear them as a sign of sorrow over loss, disasters, or personal struggles. The phrase “beauty for ashes” symbolizes a shift from sadness and grief to joy and celebration. In Isaiah 61:3, “beauty” is described as a “crown of beauty” or a “festive garment of praise.” The verse in Isaiah 61:3 is a promise from God to those who are mourning that He will replace their sorrow with joy, their despair with praise, and their ashes with beauty.

I realized in the aftermath of our nightmare that my mother’s prayer for her beauty wasn’t just for her, it was also for me. It wasn’t a prayer for something to come in the future, it was a prayer of renewal…a prayer for her beauty to be renewed day by day.

“The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning” (Lamentations 3:23)

God gave my mother beauty for her ashes, daily, and she used her beauty to pour into me, to give to me what God gave to her. The beauty of her love, kindness, and tenderness is what kept me as a child, not knowing that I needed to be kept. It wasn’t until I began my healing journey as an adult that I realized the profound impact my mother’s beauty had on my life, my mind, and my soul.

My healing from the trauma was a difficult one, it was a dark and long one. But amid the struggle and the darkness, God would bring my mother’s beauty back to my remembrance. Her beauty strengthened me, it reminded me that “God’s mercies are renewed every morning” (Lamentations 3:22-23). And even though I couldn’t see it, even though I didn’t always feel it, I knew that God was giving me beauty for my ashes, day by day, groan by groan, just as He did my mother. The beauty that my mother poured into me became inspiration for my healing.

God has given you beauty for your ashes, not just for yourself but for someone else. Your beauty is the balm in someone’s Gilead (Jeremiah 8:22), the inspiration for someone else’s healing.

The bible tells us that Jesus said to Peter before Peter’s sifting: “Simon, Simon [Peter], Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers” (Luke 22:32). This prophetic declaration over Peter’s impending trials declared in advance that God would give Peter beauty for his ashes: “And when you have turned back.” Jesus also gave Peter prophetic instructions for his beauty: “Strengthen your brothers.”

God showed me Luke 22:32 long before I healed, and I knew, just as my mother did, that I would use my beauty for ashes to strengthen others. When I realized that my healing, my beauty, wasn’t just for me, it gave my healing a divine purpose. I didn’t just want to heal for myself, I wanted to heal others with the beauty that God gave me for my ashes. From the moment God revealed the power of my beauty, I knew that I wanted to give God the glory by giving it to others who had suffered in the way that my mother and I had, and to help those who experienced deep soul wounds from relational trauma.

The thought of using my beauty to help others pushed me, it compelled me, to heal for others. The late Maya Angelou once said, “As soon as healing takes place, go out and heal somebody else.” Through dedication, determination, and the cultivation of God’s gift, I have had the privilege of helping thousands of trauma survivors rise from the ashes, and I have been blessed to see God’s beauty pierce through the darkest nights.

In my extensive work with trauma survivors, I have encountered many individuals who have expressed that same passionate desire to use their beauty to help others rise from the ashes of trauma. With close to two decades of specialized knowledge, training, and real-world experience effectively leading trauma survivors towards deep emotional and spiritual healing, I am on a mission to equip deeply committed individuals with the training and skills to become life-changing trauma recovery coaches and mentors.

If you feel called and deeply committed to the life-changing and gratifying work of helping survivors rise from the ashes of trauma, I invite you to learn more about my upcoming, exclusive Certified Trauma Recovery Coach training program. This exclusive training will not be available again until 2028. Participants in this Certified Trauma Recovery Coach training will have lifetime access to ongoing training, support, and mentoring from me to help them become transformational trauma recovery coaches. If this sounds like you, follow the link below to find out more, or go to the menu and select the Trauma Recovery Coach Training.

Be blessed!

Patrick