What You Meet In The Dark

Relationships we create in our emotional basement will no longer be attractive when our light is turned on. 98% of the time, the only thing we have in common with somebody we meet in our emotional darkness is darkness.

Notice I didn’t say you can’t heal with somebody or heal together. But notice I didn’t say broken people can treat broken people either.

People don’t heal for other people; people heal for themselves. You cannot do someone’s work, and loving someone more will not make them do their work.

If your bond is brokenness, whichever one of you gets healed first is likely to be sucked back into brokenness — unless or until the other person recovers.This can create or worsen codependency, which is often complicated by “Recovery Guilt.”

Recovery Guilt can cause someone to stay in a cycle of brokenness.Recovery Guilt is what I call it when someone in a basement relationship heals but can’t or won’t leave the basement relationship because leaving feels more like betrayal than self-care.

God can do anything except what is not His will. Don’t turn a mistake into your assignment, and don’t let guilt convince you that you have to stay in the basement with somebody you met in your basement. Seasons end, and if you are ending a basement season, don’t let guilt cause you to do overtime in your season.

Sometimes, the best thing we can do for ourselves, our self-care and our self-respect, won’t make everybody happy. It’s not supposed to; it’s supposed to save your life.

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